Saturday, October 08, 2005

Google grows too fast, crashes Earth

Google's mission in life is to "organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful." This is a great mission and all-- it sounds really, well, useful. But it also really worries me. Isn’t what they’re really doing equivalent to a massive backup of the world’s data?

When do you need a backup plan? That's right, when you think something bad is going to happen. You wouldn’t go to all the trouble to backup your hard disk unless you thought it was pretty likely to crash. You wouldn’t buy home insurance if your house was indestructable, would you?

What’s going to happen once Google has the world’s information stored on a disk farm somewhere? I'll tell you what. A meteor is going to hit us. Or the earth is going to tilt on its axis and cause the next ice age. Some disaster is on its way soon-- that’s the only way to explain why Google is in such a rush to get the backup done. They’ve gone from 650 employees in 2003 to 4,500 employees today. Google recently issued 14.16 million new shares to raise $4.11 billion to buy some more zip drives.

I guess we should take solace in the fact that the information stored on the Internet will live on even if we don’t last much longer. Once the danger is past, Google will execute the ‘restore earth’s info’ command, and the survivors of Armaggedon can get back to accessing useful information about ‘giant squid’ and ‘anna nicole smith’.